If you did such a thing, you would be me at the recent Great Lake Swimmers concert at the Bowery Ballroom. I am not holding it against any of you huggers and swayers or those trying to get past the awkwardness of the first date, I am just saying I was in a feisty mood that Friday night, too feisty for every song to be about love. Actually, I take that back, I am not in agreement of the first date concert. Talk about a flood of things to question and worry about: Do I get a beer and be cool, hard liquor to ease the mood or do I make the mistake of the crap wine that has been opened for days? How close do you get to the stage? If you get too close then it will be too loud to say much of anything to them but maybe that is a good thing if you already think they are a dud, do you stand back by the bar but risk getting glared at and shhhhushed by the lush concert goers? I mean shit, do you sway, just nod your head, keep the beat by slapping your thigh? What if he has bad concert etiquette like pretending to know and sing the lyrics to all the songs or have no reaction whatsoever? Do you simply cringe and try to see pass it off or write him off immediately and already send him to the fate of the butt out buddy hug at the end of the night?
No thank you, no concerts on the first date. Get a few meetings in there before you launch into a group experience with that person. Sushi, Ethiopian, BBQ, any other potentially dangerous idea is better than the first date concert.
Sorry Great Lake Swimmers. You were pretty good and I really liked 'Your Rocky Spine' and the cowboy shirt of you singer-songwriter Tony Dekker. Thanks for bringing some good banjo and harmonica down from Canada; sorry I was so preoccupied judging the audience. One thing I take umbrage to is your opening act - that female singer was so awful and so weird, and NOT in a good/ironic way. Seriously, it was like getting tricked into showing up early to see a solid opening act and instead you see a girl on stage whirling cats around while wearing sequined leggings and a head wrap. It still gives me the chills, the kind you get right before you start throwing up.
"Try to look weird...I think we got it!"
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